MINDSET: Intimacy – Moving the Relationship Forward

In relationship marketing, the word intimacy might catch people off guard. But don’t worry—we’re not talking about candlelit dinners and slow walks on the beach. We’re talking about emotional closeness. And more importantly: trust.

“Intimacy moves the relationship.”

What Is Intimacy in a Relationship-Building Context?

Intimacy is what moves a relationship from casual to meaningful. It’s about building connection through shared experience, increasing openness, and deeper understanding.

In the BCA Relationship Marketing Framework, intimacy isn’t a destination—it’s a flow. A series of stages you move through over time, naturally and intentionally.

The Intimacy Flow

Intimacy is like an elevator—you don’t start at the top floor. You begin with casual exchanges on the ground level. As trust builds and conversations deepen, you “press the button” to the next level—sharing a little more, opening up bit by bit. The best relationships ride that elevator together, with mutual trust guiding how high you go.

Not every relationship reaches every stage—and that’s okay. But the strongest ones do.

Tips for Navigating the Flow

Building intimacy isn’t about speed; it’s about safety and synchronicity. You don’t want to jump to vulnerability with someone who’s still at the interests stage.

Here’s how to move thoughtfully along the intimacy path:

✅ Match their pace. Don’t overstep. Let the relationship develop naturally.

✅ Lead with curiosity. Ask questions without expecting a transaction in return.

✅ Watch for green lights. If they start opening up, sharing more, or inviting you in, it’s a sign to go a little deeper.

✅ Create shared experiences. Golf together, volunteer together, go to a speaker event—shared activities accelerate closeness. More on this Read the post on the Shared Activity Principle

✅ Find common bonds. The more you have in common, the easier intimacy grows and the more likely your relationship is to remain.

Why Intimacy Matters

If generosity is the fuel, intimacy is the connection that transforms relationships into lasting, meaningful partnerships. It creates space for honesty, empathy, and mutual respect—and that’s the sweet spot where trust thrives.

Next up: Intentionality – why great relationships never happen by accident.